simon max hill

“simon max hill didn’t cast Portlandia and I have no idea who the hell he is.”

Jon Krisel, director “Portlandia”,“Kroll Show”

“Hiring Simon was the biggest mistake of my life – not that he did a bad job casting, far from it. The problem is that he’s so much smarter and better than me that it crushed my self-esteem and made me impotent.”

David Cress, Producer “Portlandia”

“Simon relates to actors very well – probably because he has something in common with them: alcoholism.”

Neil Kopp, Producer “Meek’s Cutoff”

“I’m impressed that simon is able to cast movies and commercials while locked up in a maximum security prison. But paying him in cigarettes and soap is kind of a hassle.”

Randall Schoonover, The Great Society

“Simon’s efficiency and organization were the main reason it was so easy for prosecutors to convict him in over 150 counts of murder-1. His records of where, when and exactly how he disemboweled his victims really sealed his fate.

It’s unlikely that this planet will ever see another monster so horrific as simon max hill…but his very existence shakes my belief in a good and loving god.”

Joanna Miller, Writer-Producer-Coordinator

“…yeah, I’ve worked with that guy.. why do you ask?”

Todd Carlson, Central Planning

“I was blown away by how he skillfully managed my expectations lower with every conversation.”

Elle Martini, director “Person, Place, Thing”

“I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy – simon max hill, on the other hand, can go die in a ditch. Also, SanDimasHighSchoolFootballRules!!!”

Martin Luther King Jr., starting pitcher, Atlanta Braves